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Should You Wait 90 Days Before Sex?

Single Gal's Guide Blog

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Should You Wait 90 Days Before Sex?

Champagne Braswell

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Men hate this. They hate Steve Harvey for bringing it up and they hate women for adding this into their repertoire of “ways to torture men prior to putting out”.  Some men feel that it is because it shows you are playing games.  Some men think you are being stingy, aka, “what would happened if they waited 90 days before they spent money on you?”(Because women are all about money, I guess...)  Some feel that this isn’t an adequate way to really tell if he’s here for you. Some guys will play the role for 90 days and still leave.  Here’s my personal belief:  Guys don’t like it because they have to wait for something they want right now.  They have to put a little more effort to get it, when honestly they were just hoping for it within the first week or two. (some cocky guys say the first night. But you know, F**k them.)  I do agree with men on some of their viewpoints.  A man could play the role, take your goodies and run. However, in my years of research, hearing other stories, and understanding human emotions, is waiting a period of time really that bad?

 

How to Trick a Man into Commitment with Sex

Ha! Jokes on you, you can’t trick a man!  Maybe into a physical relationship but that’s about it.  I’ve learned you can’t trick a man into being with you.  Either he will want you or he doesn’t.  So if you are looking to hold the nookie over his head in hopes of a relationship, you will fail girlfriend.  You may be able to keep him entertained a bit longer, but you shouldn’t try to coerce a relationship.  Just doesn’t work.  There are times when you can give it up day 1 and if he really likes you then he may stay around longer.  Some men won’t care when you give it up. If he genuinely digs who you are, he will stay and that is great! The problem is the unknown factor.  If I give this up, will you still want me?  If I give this up, will the calls stop? If I give this up will you think I’m a h*e? All valid questions but since you can’t gauge whether he stays or goes, maybe there really isn’t a point in waiting.

 

 

Waiting to Bump Uglies isn’t for Him

Don’t look at waiting as a way to test if he’s legit or not.  (There are many other tests for that, believe you me!) Waiting to jump in the sack is for YOU.  You know how many chicks out here are screaming my baby daddy ain’t ish? Or, the many T.V. shows (like who The Bleep Did I Marry!) where chicks knew the guy for an hour, had a baby by him and he’s a mass murderer? Now, yes those instances are a little extreme, but just rock with me for a second. Sex, (specifically good sex) will cloud your judgment. Make you put up with things waaaayyyy longer than you wanted to. Make you turn a blind eye to certain flags because he made you hit that ‘Oh’.  What?!?!?  You didn’t see was that he really sucks when it comes to decision making?  What?!!?!? You didn’t see that his family members are horrible people? Take your time.  You find out things that will ultimately let you know his character and if he's a dude you even want to deal with. Women tend to love nice things being said but fail to ensure that the action should back up the words. When you take a second to really get to know the guy you met at the bar, you'll learn that he may not be the stand up fella that he portrayed on IG.  This dude initially told you he had a 3 bedroom house but since you made him wait, you’ve found out that he lives with his babymom’s who believes he is in a committed relationship with her. (Yikes!)

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We jump into bed way too quickly before we find out more about this person. Then after we make the mistakes, and find out who he truly is, who do we blame? HIM! True, he sucks, but the decision to allow him to enter our bodies (unless otherwise) is our choice.  We can’t keep sleeping with crappy dudes, who do crappy things, because of our crappy choices and throw the “men ain’t ish” feedback. When in actuality, had we sat our hot tails in some cold water (or called our emergency pipe layer over) we would have seen that he has no drive.  That he really isn’t active in his children’s lives.   That his personality is really unbearable.  That all those really weird things you peeped him doing was because he was really a serial killer.( Sorry men I keep coming back to that, but do ya’ll not read the news??) 

 

How Long Should I Wait?

I don’t have a set timeline for how long you should wait.  Obviously, there are caveats and variables that may make the whole situation different for each individual. What I’m getting at ladies is no man will ever say to you “Girl, don’t sleep with me. You know I ain’t schit.”  That just won’t happened. That’s like Trump admitting that he’s wrong, it’ll never happen.  Unlike the guys who are pressing you for sex, I recognize that women have more to think about when it comes to bedroom antics.  So take your time and do it when it feels right for YOU. If it’s 90 minutes, 90 hours, 90 days, 90 months, WHATEVER! Wait until you personally feel comfortable enough to let him in.  If he leaves, he leaves.  What’s for you is for you and no one can take it from you.  Don’t feel forced or pressured to give it up, because Lord knows it sucks to have a body on your count whom was truly not worth it.  

 

Listen to yourself ladies and follow your intuition. How long would you wait before you gave it up?