I get it, being single can be the pits! Especially on a day like Valentine's day. You have to look at all the engagement posts that are up and down your social media. No one to send you candies, cakes, and ice cream. Just a total Vday bust! However, let me share with you one thing. Although Vday is fun to celebrate it is not a real holiday tied to anything of true importance. Just a way for companies to make more money off of you.
Now that I got that out the way, being single can still suck. People hate it with a passion. Not just by single women, but also those who are taken! They don't want to be associated with anyone or anything that involves being single. I have a single gal group where we like to do giveaways and free things. I tag the ladies because I want people to get free stuff and although the group may focus on single women, I honestly include all women because we can learn from each other.
A lady I tagged didn't want to be tagged in single things and that she's not single but she's not single and has a man I understood, you have the right to not be tagged in social media but the way it came off was as if she was peering her nose down at the single heffas and she’s not one of them because she got a man. Now, I could be making a mountain out of a molehill, but it’s not unheard of for ladies to experience this. To some being single is like a pariah. Some men in relationships don't want their girlfriend to hang out with you because you may "get them in trouble" or they aren't "single like you". Not to mention the constant media articles dissecting why women (especially black women) are single in their 30s. It can be hard to wear the “proud to be single” cap when people feel that you need to have a man to be of any importance and that if you don’t have a man by now something is defective about you.
3 Reasons Why We Hate Being Single
Society feels your value decreases once you hit your 30s. The idea is that most people should be married by the time they hit their 30s. The “prettier” you are the more likely you are to be married. Not to mention that women face increasing fertility issues after the age of 35. So you have several clocks ticking. I Also want to throw in the theory that all the good guys get snapped up quickly so when you hit your 30s you feel like you are scraping the bottom of the barrel. You start to self analyze and yearn for someone to be close to you.
You get tired of putting up that front that you are always okay with being single. You would love to have sound echoing through your empty house or just basically enjoy the perks of a relationship that you can't enjoy while being single.
Having a partner is a great thing to have! You can split bills and watch your top shows while sharing some awesome social commentary. You can hang out on those lovey dovey holidays like Valentine’s Day or Sweetest Day. Not to mention a constant source of booty. (Yep! Totally added that perk!) You don’t have to answer “WYD” texts because he’s right next to you. In the end you miss having a consistent companion.
2. People think you are defective
As we said early, in theory the prettier you are or the more put together you are, the more likely people believe that you should be married. Case in point those memes of a heavy set woman who many not be socially attractive is shown to be in a loving embrace with a skinnier guy who may or may not be that socially attractive. However, because of her size, people will automatically assume that she can’t pull a man, which is why you will see the meme say something like “It’s true, there is someone for everyone” or “And I can’t get a text back?’. When you are still single after the age of 28 people begin to think, what is wrong with you? Especially if you are a fairly attractive person, one may start to think “What type of crazy is she?” The assumption is if you are single it is because it is YOUR fault which can be true at times and false at another. Sometimes we are in our own way of dating and sometimes, it truly isn’t our time.
3. The Dating Game
Truth telling time again, I have met some guys who have a horrible pick up game or dating skills. They are awkward, they are scared to talk about anything, or they just talk about sex way too much. You go on dates and ask the same questions over and over again, while also continuously running into guys who are playing games or that you just aren’t meshing with. However, it isn't always about dating poor quality men as the cause of your dating woes.
There are many good guys out there but unfortunately some you may not connect with. For instance, I am not good with shy guys. I just don’t have it in me to have to drag out things from someone because I’m not really shy. I am a people person and I like to converse with people. I met a guy who I’ve known for a while and though he seems like one of the good ones, the vibe just isn’t there, and it’s mainly because he’s so shy. I’ve tried to reach out and say hey let’s do this and the plans seemed to always fail. Because he wasn’t very engaging I couldn’t feel a connection and ultimately the little bit of attraction that I did have waned because if you aren’t interacting with each other, you can’t grow something of substance.
I can understand why being single can be bothersome it can be a lonely, cruel joke in the grand scheme of happiness. However, you only hate being single if you do not know how to use the time correctly. Let me state that relationships are great! They are awesome unions that can bring some amazing fulfilment into your lives. I never advocate for you to actively be single because men and women need each other. What I will say is if you give it a chance being single can be a great time in your life, while you wait for that special one.
Why do you hate being single? If you don’t hate it, why do you enjoy being single?