4 Ways To Protect Your Heart While Being In A Situationship
You ever wondered why can’t you just like those guys who are head over heels for you? Instead of liking the guy who puts you on the back burner? He's the guy who you would say “don’t make him a priority, if you’re only an option” type of guy. Ya'll know what i'm talking about. Love the quote, but doesn’t help the situation. He is busy or can't see you like you can see him. He says he isn't ready for a relationship but he sure likes to enjoy your time.
The guy seems honest, but men (ahem and women) lie so much it’s like, "I don’t even believe that’s your name." I don’t think it is necessarily an insecurity issue, but just an issue of past history. Isn’t that why we say to learn from our history? So we don’t repeat mistakes? Are you repeating the same mistakes in love? Maybe not, but I think we can see that same pattern of not being as important as others. Your parents, siblings, children are something we can live with. I mean that’s yo peeps, he doesn't know you enough to go against the fam! Ya'll are just talking right now.
But I think it’s the thought of other women that really just grinds your gears. He doesn't have time to commit but he has time to entertain her females. I know we automatically feel like we are getting played (and we may) but sometimes it means he just isn't sure he wants a relationship just yet. So that sounds like to many of us "Hey, I just want the cookie, but i'm also going to galavant with this other heauxs in these streets. Adieu!" (I said this in an American Accent and then I changed to a French one. It was weird, my bad ya'll)
Some of us even understands that just because we want him now doesn't mean he's there yet. I mean don’t get me wrong, you aren't making a fool of yourself in these streets. But it still bothers you. It still occupies your mind, that you are really into this man, but he's not into you enough to commit. So you hang on. Many of us have hung on to a man hoping to be the one he commits too. Waiting to see if he will chose you and then you can breathe freely about having a monogamous relationship.
Unfortunately, sometimes you just have to date. He may not be right where you are emotionally and mentally. Sometimes we feel like we are at a relationship point so he should be there too. I don't agree with waiting on someone to decide if they want you or not, but sometimes you may feel like you have come across a real gem and you are willing to hang on just a little bit longer.
No shade, I get it, i've been there. So this isn't a post to shame you because women will date a few guys and not be invested in them just yet, but they may be really into that woman. Just because they are really into her, doesn't mean that she wants to be exclusive just yet. Same with some guys. They think you are cool. Enjoy spending time with you, but not sure they are ready to be in a committed relationship.
With that being said, I have three amazing rules for keeping a lady’s date game tight.
4 Ways To Protect Your Heart While Being In A Situationship
1. You're Not The Only One - Hurts doesn’t it? The fact that you put that thang down so hard and so bad that you thought, "Man he ain’t going nowhere and he’s only going to want this." Negative, Nancy. You are not his only thing he is smashing, he’s got Bettys on deck. He may not tell you this, but trust and believe me, there are some other ladies that he is entertaining. Especially if he is not trying to lock you down or is not coming to you often to get it( a lot of men claim to have high sex drives, so I’m just going off of what they claim). You can’t blame him, he’s a single man, and that’s a perk of being a single man, which is getting new tang as often as possible. Or maybe having the best of all worlds, maybe they like this chick who has a big butt, and this chick gives great head, or this chick can cook like no tomorrow. They are not ready to settle in the sexual division (or emotional division). So, if you are not going to stop giving him the cookies for the sake of your feelings, at least shield your heart and adopt this mantra. Even if you truly are the only one, just don’t think that. It’ll save your rebound time if he moves on, or when he cancels a date with you when he was the one that pursued the hell out of you to get it.
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2. Be Honest- Ladies we are just trying to date and have fun while waiting for Mr. Right to come through our fantasy door. However, we are not going to be like those grimy people out there and sell dreams. I hate, absolutely hate, when a dude sells me dreams. It’s like “why?” I get it, you want the cookie (because at the end of the day everything comes down to the cookie) but why get me to fall for you and you dump me and then you know who I become? The crazy bitch. Oh, a lot of men know the crazy bitch well. She has keyed up their car, played games on their cell phone, and when in public has tried to embarrass him on several occasions.(I snickered lightly here) You know how to prevent the crazy bitch? BE HONEST. Ladies prevent the crazy dude by being honest! Let them know that you are not looking for a relationship, or that you may be dating other guys. Also what I see many people don’t do, is take responsibility to create space between yourself and him. For instance, if he tells you he loves your or want to be with you and you feel nowhere near the same, you need to create distance between yourselves if you want to keep him on as a friend. Even if his bedroom game is tight. I see a lot of dudes sleeping with these girls who they know have feelings for them but continue to ignore them, which will eventually turn them into (dun, dun dun dun!!!) Crazy Bitch.
3. We Don't Love These Joes- Don’t be catching feelings out here in these streets. Especially for those who aren’t your Mr.Right. If you can’t have that physical relationship without falling for that guy, shut the whole entire cookie operation down!!! Don’t put yourself at risk then you will face heartache after heartache.
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4. Protect Your Womb- There are condoms upon condoms upon condoms out here and we are still getting pregnant. Why would we have unprotected sex (no condoms or no birth control) with a man who doesn't even know if he wants to be with you? Talk about putting the cart before the horse. Ladies, we have to be responsible for our bodies. Yes, I know you wish every man would just understand the big deal about being a father, and pregnancy, and we both made this kid, and etc, etc, etc. You done? Let's get back to reality. We are responsible for self. A lot of the heartache we experienced could have been avoided if we thought out our choices. He is a great guy right now. I get it. He puts the toilet seat down. He says yes ma'am, and no ma'am. He even listens to you about how you feel. These are great qualities but not great enough to decide that you want to have a child with him. Slow down and enjoy, but let's not get too crazy now.
Dating is hard, but it can be done.
Have you ever fallen for someone before they fell for you? Did you hold on? Or did you move on?