Why Do Women Fight Each Other Over Petty Reasons?
Amidst the whole drama between Cardi B and Nicki Minaj, which let’s face it, was bound to happen eventually, I can’t help but wonder about the allure of a catfight. What is the point of women fighting each other over insignificant issues?
On the one hand, you have Cardi B who is upset to the point of throwing her shoe at Nicki Minaj for disrespecting her as a mother. Then you have Nicki, who also at one point called out Taylor Swift years ago for also “running her mouth.”
What is it about those moments that make us simultaneously grab our pearls but lean in closer on the action? Is it because it breaks up the monotony, the mundane of our ever-cyclic lives?
Maybe that was a tad harsh, yet I’m sure you get my drift. Somehow, we as women (we’ll save talking about the men’s role for another time) secretly smile on the inside when we see another woman that we admire tear another one down. Some women enjoy watching a good cat fight as long as it doesn’t involve us.
Or, honestly, we could be the ones tearing down a woman that we are intimidated or jealous of. Really what for though?
Ask yourself this question:
“If someone gets promoted at work, which gender is most likely to say something negative about it?”
Did you say a woman? You wouldn’t be alone in your assessment. According to Pat Heim’s book “In The Company of Women” this has been undoubtedly unanimous in each workshop her company puts on.
Let’s take a step back, waaaay back into time. In our youth, we are taught to handle competition
differently than our male counterparts. Boys are taught to address directly and head on. Girls treat competition more covertly, often through micro-aggressions, manipulation, and ostracizing other girls.
How’s this for an example: spreading a rumor that one girl stinks so no one will want to play with her. It’s happened then and continues now.
But back to the question of why do women feel the need to fight each other over small issues? How did this become so?
We could say it stems from primitive times when women were more of a commodity than a person. If you weren’t a baby factory, then what use were you?
Women had one job and one job only: To get ahead in life without the means of being in the workforce. Women had to use their wit and appearances to live a comfortable life. Being chosen by the right man was everything and honey there was NO WAY another woman was going to step in and ruin that.
Flash forward to today. The patriarchy is weakening, ladies are educated and taking the workplace by storm, and gender roles are changing. Yet there is still that competition that seems inbred that we continue to have, although it is not necessary anymore.
We need to learn that it is imperative to talk out our issues versus throwing blows because not only does it not get anyone, anywhere, but people are pointing and laughing at you, making both ladies appear to be fools. Before you get ready to fight another woman, stop and think, is this battle truly worth it?
La Mia is the co-founder of Bravalie, an amazingly safe space for women to build friendships and discuss things typically thrown under the rug. She is a fighter for the underdog, collects video games, obsesses over mashed potatoes. Follow her on Facebook to keep up on the latest updates on Bravalie.