40 Things You Can Do When You Become a 40 Year-Old, Infertile, Cat Lady
So you want to be a cat lady? Okay, let me start from the beginning….
My friend Moyo loves to send me articles, posts, and videos of things that may pique my interest. Now and then, he sends me something that sets me on fire and requires some type of action from me.
As I began my day, I saw a link that was posted to some asshats Facebook post shaming single women. Let me rephrase that — no need, for me to be rude, as everyone should have some respect shown.
*Ahem* Mr. Asshat.
In his poignant Facebook piece, he typed the following.
"Women are mostly infertile at 40, but live to be 80. Without a family, what are you going to do with those 40 long years?"
I'm sure in his head; he was like "Ohhhhh I'm going to be a dick and drop some knowledge by shaming women."
But there are a few fallacies in his statement.
1. Infertility exists in men and women, so to focus solely on women is shitty. It can be a devastating blow to either gender and is no joking matter. About 1/3 of men have infertility problems and just like women, affects them deeply.
2. Not everyone wants to have kids. Raising kids is tough. It is not easy and is not for the faint of heart. If it were easy, you wouldn't have so many people killing kids due to their inability to cope as a parent or just poor decision making skills. Let's face it; everyone shouldn't have kids, and based on the fact that there are over 400,000 children in foster care at any given moment; we can afford for everyone not to give birth.
3. Just because you cannot have children or do not want to have children, does not mean that you cannot have a fulfilling life. Kids can be a great blessing! But to say that your life is meaningless because you don't have children, well I call hogwash. That is why I made this post because I want women who cannot have children or choose not to have children or are postponing their parenthood, to have 40 things you can do when you become a 40-year-old, Infertile, Cat Lady.
40 Things To Do When You are a 40-year-old, Infertile, Cat Lady
Solo travel is picking up, and you do not have to stay in one place to be happy. Grab a few gal pals or go alone and be safe! There are plenty of new places for you to see!
Look on the bright side of being childless. Kids need a lot. I mean they are your broke best friends, of course, but being a parent can be a bit draining at times. (Take it from an ex-stepmom)
It is estimated that it can take at least 200,000 to raise a child. Now you can be like the well off gay couple in your neighborhood. Save your dollars and live lavishly.
When was the last time anyone soldered anything? Do you even know what it means? Trades are a thing of the past for some, yet they are so needed! Learn a new skill for yourself!
6. Write a Book
Remember that book you have been trying to write for 20 years? Here's your chance to do it!
I always said if I had more time, I would love to volunteer! Helping others is a beautiful thing!
Some young women would love to have your help! Organizations such as Brown Girls Mentoring(http://www.browngirlsmentoring.org/), create programs for other women who could use some direction in their lives.
Can't find an organization that speaks to your needs? Create one! It takes a lot of effort to start a non-profit; some would argue it takes more to start a non-profit than a business. But hey, you have 40 years to figure it out!
Create additional income by frequenting thrift stores and yard sales and reselling online for some profit. Grow your nest egg!
11. Change Careers
Need something exciting? Change careers! Some people work in jobs that they fell into and are stuck in that position. It's not their dream or passion. They needed money, found a job, and just kept it. But it was never what they truly wanted. Find the career you want and start your new path.
12. Pay Off Debt
Having children can make it harder for you to pay off debt. (I'm not talking to you, super finance gurus. I know you all raised children and had and had your finances tight.) Learning to be better at your finances will help you pay off debt quicker, and live debt-free!
I never have enough time to sit and binge-watch. I crave the days when I have time to sit back with a fancy-ass mimosa and finish watching all my favorite shows from the past and the present.
14. Get Out and Date
Just because you are infertile doesn't mean you can't date. You will be an ideal partner for many people! A lot of women and men aren't looking to raise kids in their 40s or deal with other people's children periodt! (Yess finally a chance to insert my City Girl self in here.
It truly does take a village. Some relatives are over their head and would love to have some support in raising their kids. My mother told me every day how she was very blessed to have a reliable support system as a 16-year-old mother. But don't go in and try to take over! That's annoying AF!
As I said earlier, there are over 400,000 children in foster care, and they need love. Unfortunately, everyone wants to adopt babies which leave many adolescents in need.
Just because you don't have natural-born children, doesn't mean you don't have a family. Reach out to those cousins, uncles, aunts, nieces, and/nephews who you don't get to see often. How many times have you told yourself that you would spend time with relatives if you, well, had more time? Get to know your relatives(new and old) and build those bonds!
18. Get Married
Again, being infertile doesn't mean you can't find happiness with a partner.
First of all, I don't believe you should rely on children solely as your retirement plan. I.e., people have kids so that those kids can take care of them as they get older. I have a few issues with this thought process. One, you never know if you will be able to have children. Two, your children may have their children, which make it hard for them to provide you with stable elderly care. Three, (though I would never wish this on anyone) your children may pass away early on leaving you childless. And four, your children maybe be jerks and decide they don't want to take care of you. Since you already know that you won't have children or that there may be a possibility that you will not have children, you need to create a solid retirement plan on what to do you when you are no longer able to live the same type of life.
I wish I had the skills to pull together a fantastic home look on a budget! Now is the time to learn about patterns and find out what feelings you want your home to evoke.
21. Buy a Home
No kids? No worries! You can still purchase a home for yourself! There are many options for a single woman who doesn't want a whole lot of house.
22. Buy property
Buying property is a great way to build wealth and create additional income. You can hire the right people to help you manage and fix your properties. You can be your own Property Brother.
23. Become a Yogi
Yoga is a great way to not only stay in shape and stretch but helps center the mind.
24. Get In Shape
Distractions allow us to say "I'll start tomorrow" when it comes to getting fit. Instead of tomorrow, you can do it now! Pay attention to your health and get your workout on!
There is a fascinating history of wine that dates back to biblical times. Wines have different tastes and flavors that are fun to discover and share with others. Also, wine is a fire conversational starter.
Life always has something new around the corner. I love to write (or type cause I have shitty handwriting) about my journey. It allows me to look back and see where I have been, and where I am going.
27. Start blogging
There are so many subjects people can use to create a blog. You can be a hotel reviewer, talk about life issues, or review movies. The great thing about blogging is that you can do it on just about anything!
28. Get a Hobby!
I love that my mother is 51 years old and is deep into crafting. She's always coming up with some fun things to do and exciting concepts. She even makes a little money on the side with it!
Do you feel opinionated? As if you have a lot to say and want someone to hear it? Take some online surveys and let your feedback get heard! You can also earn a little cash as well!
Some of us weren't taught the ins and out of being financially stable. Instead of resting on the "No one taught me" phrase, take a moment and educate yourself or hire someone else to teach you.
31. Become a Ride Share Driver
Doing jobs such as Lyft, Uber, and other rideshare programs can be so fun and rewarding. You can meet a lot of cool people while earning more cash on the side.
32. Go Back To School
I liked college! Not just for the booze, boys, and booty shaking, but because I learned so much! You don't have to get a degree or even go to a physical location. Heck, you can also take free to low cost courses online in subjects that are of genuine interest to you.
33. Dance Your Ass Off
Some people have had the passion and desire to dance their whole life, but never took it up because they didn't fit the prototype. With so many dancers challenging the standards of what a dancer looks like, you have the opportunity to get out and get moving!
34. Take Cooking Classes
I used to watch Top Chef and thought, man, I would love to make a risotto that Chef Ramsey could be proud up. (Yep, I totally mixed two shows.) But why couldn't I do it? I had no time! Take some classes and bring out your inner master chef.
35. Change the way you eat
Yes, we eat like shit, and we keep saying we are going to change, but we never do. Changing your diet isn't easy and can take a very long time to adapt to a new way of eating clean consistently. (Mainly if your discipline is shitty.) Start working on eating better and changing your diet for the long haul.
36. Learn More About Politics
Do you actually take the time to read and research issues? Or do you just listen and read sound bites from websites and social media to form your opinion? #Message
37. Get into Sports
I wanted to do adult volleyball. I could go and play with kids since I'm their same height, but someone said something about rules and regulations. Instead, find some local organizations or ones at your job and get active!
38. Learn about sports
Different from #36 because instead of participating physically, I am talking about the games you see on T.V. (NHL, NBA, NFL, etc.) Learning about sports is a great way to connect with other people and an excellent conversation starter in business and personal arenas. If you are telling people that Lebron James(http://www.lebronjames.com/) makes high touchdowns, you need to start studying sports!
39. Start A Youtube Channel
Do you have a lot to say and you hate to write? Did you always want to be a star but felt as though it is too late? Start a Youtube Channel! Youtube has catapulted many everyday citizens into stars. Don't think you have the right look? Youtube would not agree.
40. Embrace being a Cat Lady (or animal lover)
I love pets. It breaks my heart to see people abuse them and to be cold and hungry on the streets. I also don't want a house that smells like animals. So my thought is to buy a large plot of land and create a haven for animals to live while paying someone else to clean it up. (Which is why I need to have my finances in order!)
What are some things you'll be doing when you are 40 with no kids?