Are you waiting for him to be ready for a relationship?


In my many adventures in dating, (which I’ll tell you more of those stories closer to Vday), I have heard so much.  One of the things about dating that I like is getting to know people and getting different perspectives on many things.  Keeping it 100, I love stories; I’m like a big ol’ kid.  Tell me a good story and I will listen like my life depends on it. One thing that hits home for me is should we keep waiting for him to be ready for a relationship? In speaking with one guy, we eventually started to talk about our last relationships.  He tells me that his last girlfriend was 8 months ago.  I asked about her because as he said that statement, I detected a hint of sadness, and lo and behold he gave up the information.  They kicked for a while and were really vibing with each other.  She decided to move back to Louisiana and wanted him to come with her.  He couldn’t because he would be without a job for a while, and instead felt he should stack the bread first and then move down there.  They decided to go no hiatus, while she’s down there and he does his thing.  At first the convos are weekly, and then becomes less and less frequent letting weeks go by.  Finally, they talk again and he asked her if she’s seeing anyone and she said “yes”.  They talked a bit and agreed that they should end it, which left him with a hurt heart.  I felt so bad for this guy ya know? He really wanted to move down there to be with her.  You can still say that he was still not over her; she was something special to him.

At first I kinda thought man, that’s trucked up, you have a “good man” here who wants to be with you and doing what is necessary to be with you and you up and leave for someone else.  You whore.  If I had a guy like that who I needed to wait for, I would wait for him.  Then I thought about it, would I?  Really?  That is a huge gamble! In fact many of us women are waiting for men to come around and essentially being played or time wasted because we chose to do this.  Waiting can lead to some dire effects and although it seems like it would be a good idea, would it really be a good idea? I mean in her case she probably felt like he is doing him, I am not going to lie, it’s hard to believe a man is sitting around for a woman when many dudes these days feels like “girls are like buses, miss one next 15 ones coming 15”.  She probably wanted to get into something else so she wouldn’t be hurt.  Unfortunately, he was serious about her.

Should you keep waiting for him to be ready for a relationship?

Let’s say you meet the man of your dreams. He is it for you.  He has all the needs and a lot of your wants in a lifelong mate.  No one compares to this guy, when you’re with him time seems to disappear and the other junk associated with finding the love of your life.  Then he says, “Hey Payne, you are the one I want to be with, but right now, my finances aren’t where I need them to be. Let me get my weight up and we can be together in 6 months.”  I mean you hadn’t been finding the one anyway, why not wait? He’s a good guy, works hard, great morals, and a great character. It’s easy for you to wait because frankly you haven’t met anyone as great as him.  So time is passing you are keeping in touch with him, holding him down, giving up the goods. You are his rock, his shoulder to cry on.  He spends his time with you and frankly ya’ll are doing everything a couple does, just no title.  Then one day he tells you “ya’ll need to talk.” Yes! This is it! Relationship City b*tches!!!  Then he begins with he met someone, actually a friend of his that was always around. He’s in love with her and wants to see how it goes….  Wait.  Let me get this straight. I sat around passing up mad p*nis for you to fall in love with a girl that was just your friend!?!?!? Really sir???  And then you go ham….


Granted this is an extreme version of events, and I’m sure guys will say “women can do this too! Look at what your story was about!!”  I’ll give it to you, she did do it. She sucks. But that goes to dealing with the unknown.  If it’s not tangible, it’s hard for people nowadays to believe.  How do you know if he’s really only got eyes for you?  True enough people can change their minds, but I think that women sometimes want a relationship from a man out of obligation. We did A, B, and C for you, you owe us you.  You owe us relationship, whether you are happy or not.   Not to mention that you probably had gotten your hopes up that this relationship was going to be for you.  This person was probably going to be it, but in the end, it failed. At the end of the day, people don’t like to lose. It may build up character, but that sh*t sucks.  Waiting for someone to be ready because they asked you to, is a serious gamble that’s hard to tell if you should bet on it or not.  I guess that’s where your faith comes in.


Have you waited for someone to be ready to commit?

Did it work out?