I know some guys will feel a type of way, but screw it, I feel some type of way too. Make him wait to sleep with you ladies. That's what my focus is on.
This post is not for the married or committed people. In those situations sex is a bonding agent that is needed. When withholding sex in those situations it is only going to get worse from there. Just don’t do it!
This is towards many of us ladies who are settling in the position of being a “jump off”, “something to do”, “FWB”, or whatever other terms are being used for women who are sleeping with men, hoping to gain something, but in actuality gaining nothing in return…You know, besides the s*x. How we get in to that position is so easy, it’s ridiculous. You hang around this guy and think “Jeepers, he’s got everything I would want in a partner. He’s really cool, very thoughtful, etc etc.” Then these two adults, who are mutually attracted to each other, knock uglies, and low and behold, he puts it on you. (Don’t let him put it on you girl!!!) Now you know you like the whole package, and think “he is relationship material”. Here’s the kicker, he just thinks that you are cool and enjoys the benefits of your body. All that fuzziness your feeling he probably isn’t feeling that. He probably really enjoys your company, and the s*x that he now has access too. I mean, yeah s*x is fun, don’t get me wrong, but not when you have an end goal in mind and the other person doesn’t share it. So while he’s sitting here, just enjoying you and your fruits, you are silently hoping that he says, “hey, you and me, let’s be together.”
Let’s keep it real, they very rarely say that. We become that cool chick that constantly gets your emotions stepped on, feelings hurts, and just door matted all for the sake of biding your time. He might be a really great guy. I won’t completely knock all guys. I try to stay away from generalizations. Sometimes, some guys will tell you want they want, and we will ignore it. Duly notated. As time goes on ladies, you keep giving this guy your cookie, your self-esteem starts to diminish and he gets away with murder. He won’t mind parading his other chicks in front you; he never does anything nice for you to show you that he cares, and you remain in his friendzone while he dangles a I-could-see-myself-with-you carrot in front of your face. You are just supposed to be satisfied that he is having sex with you and that you both are enjoying that moment, which is not what you would really enjoy. No, you would really enjoy having sex with this guy in a committed relationship, but as we said earlier he’s not going to go that route. So what can you do?
Shut Down the Cookie Operation
I said it. Ladies we need to shut it down as a collective group. No more of that sleeping around casually and hoping for the best. That hasn’t worked the past 20 times that you did it. What will shutting down the cookie operation do? Well it won’t make him commit, so let’s get that idea out of your head. That is not what I recommend shutting down the cookie operation for anyway. If he wants you, he’ll show you and frankly you want someone who couldn’t see their life without you, not because you twisted their arm. Shutting down the operation is more for your inner self. To help contain the hurt and pain you are experiencing because you are giving yourself to someone who doesn’t value your cookie as much as you should. Let’s face it. Men will be men.(No offense guys) They are going to try to get some of your cookies, and some of her cookie, and probably that chick’s cookie in the apartment next you. When you know you aren’t the only one and it’s in your face, it is like a kick to your stomach. There was a guy who I was very much into and right in front of my face he flirted with this other girl and ended up taking her home, which I was hoping it would have been me he was taking home. If I just had a crush on him, I’d be salty, but it wouldn’t have been that serious. But because I was giving him a piece of my body, it hurt more. So what I do? Shut the cookie operation down.
Make him wait to sleep with you
I started to feel better and yeah I still liked him but my emotions were more intact because he was not tapping those emotions by tapping my a**. As women we are more emotionally attached to sex then men are. Call it science, religion, or whatever but for many of us that is the case. So to combat those feelings of insecurity, inadequacy, and jealousy, we need to keep our legs closed. Often times he won’t be as concerned about you shutting it down as you probably will be. At the end of the day he will miss some of your actions and skills, but he can replace you. Unfortunately, for a while you will feel like you can’t replace him, which is why a cookie shutdown is so scary to us. We feel like, “dang, I am not going to find someone like him.” It makes it hard for us to find someone who wants to fill that void. We can’t have casual s*x with someone you have deep feelings for and expect to find your prince charming on the side. We keep doing what we are doing just to keep that life line open. It’s not working ladies. We are damaging ourselves and then we become that bitter b*tch that loves to bash all men. In essence shutting down the cookie operation is good for yourself and the male gender, because you won’t be so quick to become the bitter b*tch with the trucked up attitude. Just think, all those guys who you thought weren’t shit and did you wrong, did you sleep with them? Yep, you did. I know we get those urges, but we are going to have to adopt toys, hobbies, whatever is needed until we arrive to a place that is healthy for us. We are precious gems, we need to start acting like it.