I was speaking to a friend earlier and we often have pretty deep conversations. He made a remark about how being intimate with a woman can mean that he does care about her. He cares about the time they spent, the moments he held her, and of course the times that he
f**k made love to her. When she moved on, he couldn’t understand how she did not see that he was really into her. Did I forget to tell you that he had a roster as well? Roster; a few other ladies on deck that he’s spending time with, saying sweet nothings to, and also giving the D to.
So, she was not his ONLY lady but one of MANY. Gee, how could she not feel like she’s the special one out of the group? Come on guys! How does that make sense? True enough that is his view, but it’s not the first time I have heard it. Let’s face it, I know some of you guys aren’t just dating and being intimate with one woman. I’d be a fool to believe that. One thing that I have learned from dating certain men is that ladies, sometimes, we ain’t the only ones tryna be the only one (shout out to Drake and his SNL debut! We go together boo!) Granted, unless you are really sure, I do believe in dating multiple people at one time, because dating should be fun. However, if you are trying to make a chick feel special, doing the same things with her that you are doing with other chicks isn’t going to help.
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So what? Why should you care what these ladies think? Well, the problem with knowing there are other chicks on the field is that you may have caught yourself a diamond. She’s not your average lady, and she’s going to realize that you aren’t a straight shooter. Occasionally you are given the benefit of the doubt, and she allows herself to believe that maybe, just maybe, you do think she is special. That you are focused on courting her and she is at the top of your list. But then there is something you forgot: SOCIAL MEDIA. Social media will f**k up a player’s game! Scenario: You made plans with her and perhaps later cancelled. Then all of a sudden she comes across that you had a date with another lady, when you said you had something important come up. DUN DUN DUN! At this point your sincerity meter is dropped down ain't shiggedy level. Now, those things that you were doing with her just seems like you were doing it with the other girls too. You have dropped from a viable prospect, to just another dude.
I had a friend who told me that he made love to this woman so passionately, that he knew that her thang belonged to him. She wasn’t going nowhere. I mean, he really liked this girl, even loved I was say. Unfortunately, she didn’t believe that he was really into her like that. She dated and found the one for her. They married and have been together for several years. My friend still hasn’t settled down because he’s comparing every chick to her and he felt like he lost a great thing. Fellas, s*x is great. I’m not going to sit here and pretend like it’s not. However, if you have a diamond on your team and you are giving her the D AND the other chicks, it doesn’t make her feel special. If anything, it feels like you are community d*ck. In the beginning she may be mesmerized by your tricks and you will have her for a bit. However, she’s not a basic chick, she’s a diamond.
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Diamonds are your wifeable, marrying type of women. These are the chicks that normally come into a man’s life when he ain’t ready for her, but are hurt immensely when she leaves. When she gets tired of the D, and she will, she’s going to move on to someone who wants to make her feel special. Someone who will pick up the slack where you left off.
Sex isn't enough to keep a woman. At the end of the day, all women want to feel special. When you have a roster, it feels like everything you are doing, saying, joking about with that diamond, you probably are doing with the other chicks too. Who knows, maybe you are not. Maybe she is very special to you and you aren’t ready yet. You are hoping she sticks around until you are. But I know one thing, you need to do something bold before you lose her, because giving her the D will eventually fail.