I can't get the girl: Why she doesn't like you

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Hello all! Some of you guys are in these streets courtin’ young women, well at least you think you are.  You guys are good fellows; good jobs, good personalities, nice looking, just really feeling yourself and hey I am not mad at it! Some of you have found a lady that you do want and she is just really special to you.  You know this chick is into you! She smiles at you, always makes physical contact with you.  You know that she wants you, but the only issue is that she’s not getting the hint that you are serious about her.  You make sure to send her a text every morning, or make her laugh so hard she spits out her beverage.  You think you know this chick likes you, but why doesn't she like you?  Well I am here to shed a little bit of light on the situation.  I’m all for love! I love love! If it’s true and right, I think that it can conquer everything! I want you to win! If you are sure she’s digging you but she’s giggling when you tell her she is the one for you, there may be things that you aren’t doing to keep her addicted to you.  What some guys don’t understand is that when a woman is really into you, you do not need to buy her the world for her to stay, but if she’s a good and smart woman you need to put in effort.  We are taught if a man wants you, he’ll come for you.  So you gotta put in that work buddy.  Here are some reason why she sees you as just a funny, handsome goofball but she doesn't like you in that way.  

Why she doesn't like you

 

You never take her up on her invites-At least regularly.   Women (unfortunately) aren’t accustomed to rejection like men.  When we get shot down, it’ll take us a while to get back up.  If we invite you to something and hope that you come, but you don’t it’s probably a little heartbreaking.  Especially, if we told our friends you were going to be there, because of course the friends have to sign off on this potential suitor (i.e. you).  You only have so many times to say no or stand her up before she puts you in the “friend zone”.

 

You don’t invite her to do anything outside of chilling in your home- She always comes over, watches TV., eats snacks, and you may or may not be trying to bump uglies with her.  You never invite her to dinner, movies, or even for a walk in the park.  If money is an issue, be creative! If she likes you, she’ll understand and will appreciate the effort that you gave.

 

All you do is talk about s*x or physical beauty- I’m sorry, I can’t take a guy seriously if 98% of the conversation is him commenting on my physical features.  Don’t get me wrong! I am a compliment whore! It’s fun at points, but after a while of you harping on those same subjects, I’ll come up with two theories: 1.you only want to smash, or 2.you are superficial.

 

The conversation is sub par-I met a guy who reminded me of that actor from the ‘Clear eyes’ commercial.( Ben Stein)  His voice would put a kid hopped up on sugar-crack to sleep.  More importantly he wasn’t saying anything special.  (Are you really spending 2 hours explaining photosynthesis to me?) If you are trying to pull a young lady you have to show depth in your conversation.  Be engaging!  If you guys only talk about ‘Scandal’ (which I love!!!!!) or s*x (Which can wait!!!) and nothing else, you are not reaching the depths of her mind.  Talk about shallow things and you’ll get shallow feelings. This will also move you into the “Friend-Zone”.

 

You don’t do anything thoughtful- When’s the last time you paid attention to her conversation and took that information to surprise her?  Maybe she talks about having to use paper cups at work all the time, and hates littering the earth.  Bring her a mug.  Maybe she talks about how she can’t reach a broken light fixture in her house, stop by with some bulbs and change it for her.  Doing things without her having to ask you will start to peak interest in you.  It also lets her know you are listening to her and you care.

 

She is aware you mess with/ talk to other girls- I get it.  You are a single guy who needs to have some bitties on the back burner just in case she falls through. Also you don't want ol girl to think you are using her for s*x, so you use them for s*x.(Yep, that just happened) Here’s the issue, if you have several chicks you are messing with actively and you aren’t trying to be discreet or at least down play them, she’s going to chalk you up as just trying to be a player.  I knew a guy who I really liked and would have definitely wanted something more, but because he had these chicks on the side who didn’t know how to stay in their box, it appeared to me that he wasn’t serious.  I’m not saying that you have to cut the chicks off, but you gotta make her feel important.  Making her feel important can open a lot of doors for you. (Do you see how certain words keep reappearing as we go on? Take notes!!)

 

You only converse with her out of convenience- You like this girl, and you talk to her every time you see her. But when she isn’t around, you aren’t reaching out to her and at least showing her that you are thinking about her.  Some people get the “out of sight, out of mind” syndrome.  If she isn’t nearby you aren’t thinking about her and let’s be honest with ourselves sir, if you aren’t thinking about her when she’s not around, how serious are you about this girl?

All talk no action-A wise friend said to me “do not believe words with no legs”.  People will say all this amazing stuff about you.  How the other guys who didn’t cuff you were stupid, how she can make you feel like a king, but yet they never make that move to show you what they mean.   If you can’t tell her how you feel and then put in to action those thoughts, why should she give you the time of day?  Talk is cheap m*ther f**ker. (Thank you DMX!)

 

You are stingy with your dollars- Dating will cost you some dollars sometimes.  It’s the way of the world. I am not saying you should buy out Benihana’s and take her on a $3,000 date, but don’t be afraid to buy lunch or dinner, or send flowers sometimes.  I know a lot of men value money.  That’s how some guys gauge their worth and show how hard they work.  So when you are giving money, it’s like you are sacrificing your income to show her that you care.  That’s kinda sexy when you look at the imagery of that action.  I will leave you with this; There is nothing sexy about a cheap man. Let me explain the difference between cheap and broke.  Broke is when you paid all your bills took care of business and have nothing left to give but your heart. (awwww) Cheap is when you have the money, but you don’t want to pay for it because you will have less money than you had before. (Really, dude? FRIEND ZONED!)

 

You plan spare time with her instead of quality time-Sometimes it is nice for a guy to say “Hey what are your plans on Friday at 6pm? I’d love for us to go grab some dinner” instead of “what are you doing right now? Want to come over?”  What’s wrong with that? Nothing when done sparingly.  What happens is that she starts to feel like an after thought.  When you only ask her to do things at the last minute, or late at night, tons of questions pop up “does he have a chick that he has to hide me from?” “Does he only want to get into my pants?” “Is this dude cheap?” Putting thoughts into your time with her, will once again show the amount of importance she has in your life.(There’s that word again)

 

AND FINALLY

 

You only text/email her- This one should really fall into the subpar conversation scenario.  I do not know how people get catfished.  How can a mentally stable person develop deep feelings for someone based only on words? No voice, little visual.  The answer is, it is hard as heck!  Creating emotions needs to have the full effect of that person. Sound, visual, touch, smell, taste (once you get to that point that is, wink wink!).  That person needs to stimulate all of your senses. Solely texting her and emailing her all the time ain’t gonna cut it buddy.

 

 

Once again this list is for guys who honestly want to have his girl as his ONLY girl and he knows she’s into him.  If you don’t have that confirmed fact that she is digging you, these pointers will not work sir.  You might want to just move on to someone else.  How do you know if she is into you? Well that’s a whole another post isn’t it? :)

Love, LoveMiss Champagne B.