What it means when he doesn't text you back

Most of us in this generation tend to have our cell phones attached to our hips.  We are reading the news, playing Candy Crush, or on Facebook scrolling and reading.  We always have our phone nearby and rarely go anywhere without it.  Not to mention if you are hanging out with certain people you know how often they will use their phone.  They’re are two types of phone relationships that people tend to have with their cell phones: 1. The phone is something that they have occasionally and it’s not at the top of their list when it comes to things they need with them, or 2. The phone is with them in every room they go to. 

They can only sit it down for 2 minutes without picking it up and checking for a text or something.   In short, you have a really good idea of the phone relationship certain people have from your personal observation and their comments regarding their attachment to their phone.  Myself, I have my phone with me 85% of the time.  Either I’m listening to music, watching Netflix, or playing internet bingo,(don't judge me) but I’ll have my phone near me. What am I getting at you ask?  Well I shall tell you.

I hate people who do not respond to texts or ignore your messages.

This is the biggest pet peeve of mine! If you want to piss me off in the quickest way possible ignore my texts.  Now you may be saying, who do you think you are? Why should I respond to you?  You have a point. I’m not the queen of England so why should you be courteous and respond to a text that I have sent you?  Well THE biggest reason, depending on what the text entails, is that I probably need a response from you. 

I get it if we are just shooting the shit and not talking about anything of substance, you may fall off from texting back and forth.  Duly noted.  However, if I send you a text along the lines of “Hey are you still coming by today” and you don’t have the consideration to at least respond with a “Sorry I can’t make it”, then you honestly suck balls.  Sorry people, there is no way around it. 

If you are a person who when we are together you are texting people left and right, but when you are with other people you can’t take the time to shoot back a quick text it seems as if you don’t really care about me.  It says that I deal with you when I feel like it.  If someone needs confirmation for an event, question, or issue, at least respect the underlying "friendship" and respond with a yes, no, or maybe so.  With me, I understand life happens. 

You may not be able to do everything with me.  If you can’t, that’s fine! Just let me know! I am the type of female that never asks follow up questions because it’s not my business.  Even if you ditch me to hang out with someone else, as long as you let me know prior to our scheduled time to kick it, we are still cool.  But if you can’t at least do the considerate thing and let me know “Hey Miss Champagne B, I can’t make it”, it bothers the hell out of me and I want to punch you in your face.

How did I get that from a text?

How did I get the idea that someone doesn’t care about you if they don’t respond to your text? I will gladly tell you how I came to that conclusion.  Many of us can send a text out in less than a minute.  If we are looking to get a quick response, a text is the best way to go versus sending a call.  It’s about convenience which I perfectly understand.  As stated before, if you notice that someone is always texting someone else when you guys are together, but when they are with those people they don’t text you, then that’s a clear indication that the person they were wiling to text on your time is a bit more important than you.(Flag!) 

Next is the fact that you know this person’s activities.  You know that they always have their phone nearby. You know they have gotten the text, especially if this is something that has happened before. If you have an iPhone, they send a read receipt which will let you know the status of the text.(Facebook also gives read receipts too, FYI)   So now there is solid evidence that you saw the text, but you couldn't be bothered with or didn't care enough to respond.  Finally, the coup d’état, is when they update Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc around the same time that you sent the text, but still hasn’t responded. So you have can put up 20 pics, an inspirational paragraph, a quote about what real men do A. B. C., but you can’t respond “yes” or “no” to my text???  That will set me off and once again, I will want to punch you in your face.

Please excuse my anger

I’m not a text tyrant where I expect you to respond instantly because you can’t all the time.  We are humans, shiggedy happens.  There are various situations where you can’t respond as quickly as you would like. You may not be able to text during work hours, or you may be at a children’s event or various other reasons that prevents you from texting back at that moment.  Those are not included in this rant.  As long as you eventually get back to me at some point I understand. 

You were still considerate enough to let me know what I needed to know and acknowledged that I needed your response.  I’m totally fine with those things!  Sometimes I may check a text and say okay they need more information than I am willing to or able to provide at this moment. So I might say “give me a sec” or just text them later with everything they need to know.  The point is that I thought enough about them to get back to them.

Exceptions to the rule

Now there are situations where I will say okay I can see why you wouldn’t respond.  They could be the following:

  1. That simple text turned into a complicated and more involved text: She asked you if you were going to come by. You replied “No I can’t make it”. She then says “Why not?” Unless this is your girlfriend/wife, you are entitled to not respond. You don’t owe an explanation, do not respond.

  2. Someone comes at you the wrong way by text- He texts you and says,"Yeah I seen you with your little boyfriend”. Clearly, this person is trying to start an argument, and arguments by text can go horribly, horribly wrong. Do not respond.

  3. Someone asks you a question that requires a very detailed response- You shouldn’t type a full paragraph if it’s annoying or too much, but at least give a courtesy response of “Hey, let me hit you back”

  4. Someone you don’t want to have any contact with-You probably should have said something to this person at some point if you aren't interested in getting to know them. If you have and they still haven’t gotten the hint, you have my permission to not response.

  5. Your phone is dead- You should respond as soon as it charges up. Apologize and be honest. Be considerate, don't be that guy.

In my thoughts, if you really cared about someone or they were really on your mind, you would have no problem responding back to their texts in a timely manner or period.  I feel that when you ignore someone’s text that requires a response back you aren’t worried about this person and wherever you are at or whatever you are doing ranks much higher on your list of priorities.  It doesn’t take much to text, which is why it is such a common way to communicate these days. So if someone can’t give you 5 mins of their time, they probably aren’t that interested in you in the first place.

Follow up questions

What are reasons why you do not respond to texts?

Am I being reasonable or way off the mark?

Does texting dictate the level of importance to someone?

Related: Why You Should Never Chase A Man