Valentine's Day Failure

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Well the Valentine's day is upon us! Some of us have hot and steamy plans, while others are just eating tubs of ice cream and complaining about how this day is a stupid day made up by greeting cards companies for extra money.   Personally, I have had three experiences with the opposite gender on Valentine’s Day.  The first time, was with my first boyfriend who was SUPER romantic (tear).  The second time was with a guy who I repeatedly told that I was not into, but he thought Vday was going to be his day to shine (he thought wrong). However, the third time was…well… I guess not great I would say.  I am here to share my Vday folly with you and hope that yours goes better than mine did.  

It was with a guy who I reconnected with after a few years of being M.I.A.  I expressed to him that I didn’t want to be intimate, because he was giving me those vibes. You know the vibes I’m talking about girls, when the man’s conversation focuses on s*x quite often? Yep those vibes! I told him that I was looking to be in a relationship and I just wanted to get to know more about him.  I was abstaining from s*x for a bit which is what I often do. When I decide that I do not want to be physical with anyone, that is it.  Well he and I chatted for a few times before Valentine’s Day came up. He then invited me over to be his valentine.  I was ecstatic! I have had only two valentine’s experiences and I was excited that he reached out to me to spend that night with me.

 

I get there and he had some soft music playing and the food was cooking which I could lightly smell.  I was pretty excited.  We exchanged a few words than sit down on the couch in his living room. He offered me a glass of wine and told me the food was finished.  At this point, I’m like “ohh it’s going to be a good night.”  Wrong.  He brought out dinner which was a small piece of chicken breast that was cooked on the George Foreman grill, 4 pieces of lettuce with a drizzle of ranch and I feel like there was another small veggie as a side.  Now before you guys start saying that I was ungrateful, I want to explain.  I was very grateful in the beginning. If you aren’t balling that’s fine! Do what you can, however what followed afterwards made me clown his dinner choices.

 

We finished eating and started watching Netflix.  I believe it was man versus wild where I was first introduced to Bear Grills.  As we started talking more about how awesome that guy was, his hands started creeping. I am trying to have a conversation with him, but obviously he isn’t interested.  At that point I pushed him away, and reiterated my stance on “no s*x”.  He seemed to understand and we went back to talking.  He decided to take me on a tour of his apartment and oddly enough we finished the tour in his bedroom. (Wow he’s a clever one!) He once again attempted to grope me and get his hands in my pants, but I wore some tight jeans because I felt like he was going to try to do what he wanted anyway. (He did tell me in our prior call to wear something comfortable like sweatpants..yeah right homie)  I left the room and went back into the living room, because I felt like I would give him one more chance. I mean 3 strikes and you’re out right?  Maybe this time, he’ll get the hint.

We sat there in silence watching T.V.  Honestly, I was just over him at this point.  I mean he serves me a dried piece of “grilled” chicken, with four pieces of lettuce and a glass of Kroger wine, and you feel as though you are entitled to p*ssy at this point? What!?!? Where does that happen?  I’m sorry that meal does not get my p*ssy wet on any level.  Had he not just ignored my words and continued to push what he wanted on me, I would have thought the gesture was sweet.  Due to the fact that he disregarded my thoughts and opinions it completely eradicated any positive feelings or thoughts that I had towards him.

Courtesy of cavemancircus.com

Eventually, he is going to try one more time.  I mean he can change my mind right?  Wrong.  He proceeded to put his foot on my lap so that I could give him a foot massage.  So wait, let me get this straight, your third world, homeless soup kitchen meal entitles you to a foot rub?  Your half a**ed effort apparently affords you the ability to believe that you can get whatever you want.  For the record; I HATE FEET! I AM NOT A FEET PERSON!!! Feet are super weird to me. I can’t explain it; the toes are like mini fingers on this square body part. Ewwww!  At that point I politely excused myself and left.   I never spoke to him again and he never called me again which worked out great!

The ironic part is if we had kept hanging out and built that chemistry, we could have gone down that path.  However, because he wanted to move faster than I could move, it ended things quicker.  He may not have wanted anything solid with me, which is fine and a lesson we learned that night.  My words to you ladies: don’t let Valentine’s Day get you so lonely that you are willing to do something that is against your core beliefs.  Fellas, if you are trying to get into her drawers putting great effort into a really good meal will help your chances.