What to do when you are tired of being patient

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Are you tired of being Patient?

Have you ever gotten tired of being patient?  Yes, yes you have. There have been several times in every woman’s life where you got tired of hearing the following phrase “you gotta be patient.”  Especially, if you are a single woman, childless and in your 30s.  After spending a huge amount of time focusing on yourself, you look up one day and realize that there are some major things you still want but have yet to receive.  You may be thinking “I should have this job by now”, “I should have a man by now”, “I should be married by now”, “I should be…etc.”  It’s now 2017 and guess what? You still aren’t close to obtaining any of those goals.  Yes, you’ve accomplished some things that you should be proud of! Some things like:

 

 

  • Received your bachelor’s/master’s/lion tamer degree
  • Bought a home
  • Bought a dog/cat/parakeet/goldfish
  • Worked on improving status at work
  • Learned several new skills

 

 

However, you accomplished those things because you were trying to be patient in waiting for that senior level job, man and/or child.  The whole time you were told “be patient” or my favorite “it’ll happen when you aren’t looking”.  (side note this is so funny when people say this. Mainly those who are in a relationship.  It is like a millionaire telling you “money isn’t everything”)  Meanwhile you reinvented patience 20 times over, you looked, not looked, put up flyers, prayed, hoped, dreamed and yet, you still ache because you haven’t obtained the things you really wanted. You feel as though you have been patient enough, but dang this is crazy! Did you know that after the age of 35 the quality of a good egg starts to diminish? This is commonly known knowledge!! Now your mind starts to panic about having babies! (Arrghhh I won’t have enough time!!!) Unfortunately, it isn’t that easy!  You gotta find the right guy, invest in him and hope he wants to marry you. And if he doesn’t want to marry, well then you are now that much closer to 35 and you feel like your time was wasted.  Not to mention around the holidays, when you are perusing your timeline on Facebook/IG/twitter and see the “I/she said yes!” pics.  You even saw a few of these from some of the guys you may have denied or had dated but it didn’t work out. You felt as if you have been patient but you can’t figure out why haven’t you received these things that you want so badly.  So, what do you do when you are tired of being patient?

 

 

 

What to do if you are tired of being patient

  1. Talk it out- I must talk through things sometimes.  We hold so much in and it starts to weigh down on you. You start to feel that discord in other areas of your life because you have not discovered a good way to release that frustration that you have. In speaking with level headed friends, they tend to always find a way to comfort you. Though they do not have the answers, friends have a way of showing you that even though you may not have those things, you are still a pretty awesome person.
  2. Turn your mind off- Our minds run constantly! Running over outstanding tasks, dissecting what someone really meant in a conversation, and other fun stuff. I find that in meditation I work on turning my mind off and being in the moment. We tend to let our mind run, but we gotta reel it in.
  3. Take a social media hiatus- This is hard. Especially when people say things such as, “have you seen what’s on Facebook?” Then you go to look at what they were talking about, but a video of a monkey walking a dog in a dress shows up in your feed. Then you are thinking, “well, how can I NOT watch this?”  Next thing you know, you’ve spent 6 hours on Facebook and never even looked at the article your friend brought to your attention.  Social media is always on. It doesn’t stop. Because of the continuous overload of information, naturally your brain become overloaded.  Coupled with your “end of the year” close out feelings of “I’m still single and childless”, the new baby/engagement announcements on social media can bring a single gal to depression! Fret not, I have a simple fix: Turn it off. If that is hard, erase the apps from your phone so that you won’t have the desire to check something. Don’t worry, you can always redownload.
  4. Pray- You may or may not be a religious person. You may or may not be monotheistic. However, I always find prayer to be an uplifting process.  It isn’t always about the name of who you believe in, it’s about faith. Faith that whatever problem you have, it will be fixed.  You do not have to believe a specific religion to find peace.  Prayer helps lift doubt and soothes your fears. Plus, it’s a way to talk about your fears in the open without human ridicule.  It is a way to release that doubt out into the world and off you. I also find that it’s important to note what you pray for.  If you have been harping on a man and your prayers involve “bringing a man into your life”, maybe it is time to switch what you are praying for.  Pray for peace, guidance, and the discernment to know what routes to take.
  5. Have some fun-All focus and no play makes you a stressed gal. Timelines can start to move from your job to your life. Unfortunately, with humans, timelines are most often negotiable. (Much unlike the due dates for projects at work) Spend some money, take a trip, try something that you never have tried before.  New things can allow you to think about doing other things that will move your attention from the “I’m tired of being patient” thoughts.  Don’t forget that you need play too!
  6. And the worst of all, stay patient- I mean, what are you going to do? Hurry up and settle with Mark who drinks all day and only wants to play PlayStation in his mama’s basement? Choke out the recruiter for the job because she “found someone else”?  I wouldn’t do it!  At the end of the day, patient is unfortunately still needed.  Things will not always come when we want it, and based on all you achieved you know that.  It took you years to graduate, it took you months to get a home. You thought it wasn’t going to happen, now look at you. You made it.  Although it sucks to hear, timing is very important and if rushed, you could end up in some unhappy situations.

There is no way to bypass being patient.  It’s a necessary evil that sometimes you can see the benefits too. An example would be taking your time to turn the corner versus a jerk who rushed passed you to turn and ran into a tree.  He was in such a rush that he not only messed up his vehicle, but now he has costs and other issues that stem from not waiting.  Not being patient can be costly.  It can cause you to jump into situations you would have avoided had you thought with a clear and concise mind.  Be frustrated but let it go and then be at ease with patience.  You will get what is for you, it is only a matter of time.

 

 

 

 

 Related: Are you waiting for him to be ready for a relationship?