You Got My Attention: Why Confidence Trumps Physical Perfection


I could use more confidence.  I’m not the skinniest of women.   I have more stomach than I like, could have better toned arms, and less back fat. But I hold my weight pretty well.  Some years back I was in much better form.  Less fat and tighter in other areas, all good!  Oddly enough, I was not comfortable in my skin.  Back then,  Beyonce was starting to light up the media with her tight bod and I just didn’t have that body. I stayed in the gym, and tried to eat right, but to no avail, my body was still not looking like Beyonce.  Around that time I met a guy who was crazy about me and (IMHO) my less than stellar form. He couldn’t keep his hands off me and frankly, I didn’t see what he saw. I remember when I didn’t have clothes on I would hurry up and put on a towel or a blanket to try to hide my body. 

During moments of intimacy, the lights stayed off.  I didn’t want him to see how my rolls on my back gathered. I mean he would see it and probably throw up right? Ladies, if I knew then what I know now, I would have probably been more comfortable with my body and it would have eventually led to a relationship.  Because of my dislike of my body, I saw myself worthless than the girls with the small waist, big butts and large racks.  If there is one thing that I have learned, is that a real man, who is really into you does not give a f**k about your body not being socially perfect.  Men have seen tons of naked ladies by the time they have gotten to you, so stretch marks, cellulite, and some squishiness is nothing new to them.  I guess we think “omg! He is going to look at me and think, Oh hell no! You see all that back fat? Girl, bye!”  He won’t. Not if he is really into you.  What really kills me are women that have been with their man for a while and still are not comfortable with their man seeing them naked.  Truth be told, he’s gotten a good look at your naked body at one point, so you hiding it when he wants to see more of it, is bound to get annoying.


  A lot of men prefer a confident flawed body, to an insecure perfect body.  What good is the perfect body if she is hiding behind walls every time he comes into the room?  By knowing this, you can have a leg up on those ‘10’s if you feel like you are a ‘7’.(We are all 10s by the by)  Be confident! Ladies, we gotta start doing more things to make us feel confident when we are in the presence of men.  Clothed or not. I love wearing boy shorts and bras.  I feel like a freaking boss when he sees me in it just walking around.  It’s not always about having to lose weight.  I mean, if you want to lose weight for yourself, do it! But I know plenty of people who have lost weight, look great, and are still not confident about their bodies.


How can you gain confidence?

1. I fell in love with my body- I would like to be slimmer and more toned, but I REFUSE to stop living life until I do so.  I stay working out and eating right to help that, but in the process I have looked at myself in the mirror and fell in love with myself. I looked at me and loved how my butt is big all by itself and no help. How my natural waist is smaller in comparison.  That my lips are full. That I could be worse, but I’m not.  I don’t know how it happened, but one day I realized that I am the baddest thing alive and I don’t care what no one thinks.  That translated to my walk, my talk, and frankly my interaction with potential suitors.

2. Take up a sexy craft-I’m not saying you should make youtube videos of it, but take some pole dancing classes, aerial dance classes, or a class that teaches the karma sutra.  Becoming more familiar with your body will help you love it more.

3.Get your hair done, nails done, everything did-I don’t know about you gals, but when I get my nails done and my brows down I went from feeling like a 6 to  a 10.  When you have your outside looking good, it can sometimes translate to your inside.

4. Match your panties and your bra and get your sh*t together- I never cared about matching undergarments.  Unless I was in a relationship, I didn’t see the point in looking sexy under my clothes.  When I started wearing matching undergarments, I felt sexier.  I would talk to guys with this new found swag because in my mind I was thinking “I bet you wish you could see how sexy my body looks under my clothes but you can’t!!!!” Extreme? Yes.  Off the mark? No.  Try it! Match those undergarments for a week and see how your stroll changes.


I can’t tell you how to be confident.  You have to find your niche, but I can tell you that your man loves your body already or he wouldn’t had committed.  Be confident in what you have, because confidence will bring a man down to his knees if you exude it properly…